“The Denarii stops here” says High Priest of Saturn Tiberius Pecunus while making remarks to reporters as the Senate dispersed. Today’s agenda the question of reverting back to the gold standard a question that arguably no one is better qualified to answer then T. Pecunus. Some in the Senate believe that returning to the gold standard might ease tensions with allies and help to produce a more vibrant economy. Pecunus however is quick to point out that the current standard has served The Empire extraordinarily well for over 1000 years.
SPQR News readers well informed as you are don’t need to be reminded about the current monetary structure, but for the ignorant plebeians among our readership who have no understanding of civics and may have only come in contact with our periodical by mere accident—a brief review.
 |
| How does it feel to want? |
The FEAR standard has supported our nation’s monetary system for well over 1000 years. What is the FEAR standard? That tingling on the back of your neck, that creeping suspicion that you’re going to get a pilum up the ass for reading—ANYTHING. That very same all natural and certified organic feeling is what keeps the value of "our" currency—no, you can’t have any. The primary FEAR multiplier is the ability for The Empire to take your shit by force—to put it bluntly. So when we say that you can only buy your freedom in Denarii’s we mean that if you try to pay in any other currency you will not survive. So get back to work you lazy pleb, and don’t forget—we’ll take your shit and if you don’t have any we’ll fuck you up.
The stock exchange was soaring after the meeting of our wise fathers of the great Empire had settled the issue. Analysts predict this issue won’t crop up for at least another 150 years—adjust your portfolios accordingly.
No comments:
Post a Comment