2055 years after the cowardly senators slew the mighty and glorious child of Venus the divine Caesar teaches us still. We remember each year the lessons taught to us by mighty Caesar: revenge, bloody, bloody revenge. Also peace, harmony and civic virtue achieved through the brutal massacre of the barbaric Gauls. If they didn’t want to be conquered they should not have worn pants—ridiculous! Remember the lesson that once was taught: peace is not leaving anyone behind to oppose you.
NEVER FORGET. Today we pay homage to the first Imperator of Rome, today we torment the souls of the conspirators. The idiotic Brutus, the envious Cassius, and the cowardly Casca, I really hate those guys. Firstly Brutus that drunken wreck once dear to Caesar is now a traitorous dog without honor whose family weeps tears of ash. Cassius, or the devil himself who after accepting rank and favor from Caesar slashed him out of jealous rage for Caesar’s heroic good looks. Casca, he’s not even worth mentioning, his name sinks everyday further into obscurity and we would do well to forget his existence all together. So drink your wine, poor your libations and thank Mars for the triumphant victory over the conspirators at Philippi by Caesar Augustus the divine.
 |
| Pictured: Betrayal |
How will you mark this very solemn occasion? Will you cry hysterically pulling your hair out overcome with the grief from the great leader we've lost? Will you erect a bonfire in your neighbor’s yard pieced together from his children’s play set? Or will you pick a fight with anyone you meet with a cursed name of a conspirator? All are reasonable expressions of the justifiable grief felt by a true Roman citizen.
GO FORTH AND CONQUER !
No comments:
Post a Comment