Welcome aboard the USS Enterprise the newest flagship of the United Federation of Planets! You and your trusting family are soon to embark on an adventure unlike any other. The noble search for knowledge and understanding will take you to uncharted areas of the universe and the human consciousness—I’m Dianna Troi and I’m here to guide you on your journey as Ship’s Counselor.
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| Eyes up... |
During the course of your mission you and your unwitting family (which includes children) will most likely experience being possessed by various energy based life forms, aliens, computers and computer-aliens. You will be exposed to unknown bacteria and diseases. Attacked by various aliens of god like technological superiority, frozen in time, disappear from existence, revert to childhood, become the undead and endure lengthy lectures from Whoopi Goldberg.
(In some rare instances crew members and their families have experienced living their worst nightmares.)
(In some rare instances crew members and their families have experienced living their worst nightmares.)
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| This is not your nightmare |
Remember before you schedule an appointment for counseling there are a few simple questions you should ask yourself to help in determining the necessity of your visit:
1. On a scale of 1 - 10 how severe are my night terrors?
2. When you look in the mirror do you see yourself as a corpse in an alternate reality?
3. When you do dream, do I wake up in the airlock?
4. Would you say your grasp on reality is:
a. Very Hard
b. Hard
c. Fading
d. Completely Gone
5. Have you lost control of more than half of your body?
Remember the great quote by United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt "The only thing to fear, is fear itself". However if you're still kept awake at night due to anxiety from living in constant fear from traveling through the infinite black abyss—Feel free to schedule an appointment, but remember there is currently a three week waiting list and preferential treatment to bridge officers.
1. On a scale of 1 - 10 how severe are my night terrors?
2. When you look in the mirror do you see yourself as a corpse in an alternate reality?
3. When you do dream, do I wake up in the airlock?
4. Would you say your grasp on reality is:
a. Very Hard
b. Hard
c. Fading
d. Completely Gone
5. Have you lost control of more than half of your body?
Remember the great quote by United States President Franklin D. Roosevelt "The only thing to fear, is fear itself". However if you're still kept awake at night due to anxiety from living in constant fear from traveling through the infinite black abyss—Feel free to schedule an appointment, but remember there is currently a three week waiting list and preferential treatment to bridge officers.
Stay informed with special messages from our Captain!
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"You don't need eyes to see where you're going" |
